Sunday 27 October 2013

Blog update

I've obviously been writing for quite a while based on my diary entries from when my son was born. This was originally inspired by the diary I kept at the time and I thought it would be great to write these up as an honest depiction of what life was like with a newborn. Well, now he is 2 and a half and those diary entries seem a very long time ago and although I have thoroughly enjoyed writing them up I have come to a point where I need to write more in the present (or at least not so distant past). Hopefully by writing up his first 3 months you've got an idea of the highs and lows of being a new parent but now I'm going to write up what it's like to be living with a toddler! I hope you enjoy :)

Wednesday 9 October 2013

On guard!

based on diary entry 25/4/11 (Albie 3 months)

I know we're supposed to have evolved from monkeys but seriously, according to the size of them, you'd think Boots chemist were supplying nipple guards to King Kong's 'Mrs'. Obviously I'll try anything at the moment to make my life a little easier but surely we've evolved enough to know that placing thick plastic between the baby and the baby's food is not doing anyone any favours. I mean, can you imagine if condoms were that thick? I don't think they would be in the shops two minutes before a scientist found a solution, but apparently us breastfeeding women aren't high up on the priority list. Maybe breastfeeding was never supposed to be about pleasure and closeness, maybe it's just a case of simply functioning - we provide a service; we merely need the basics. Once we're done with all this baby stuff we can go back to immersing ourselves in lotions from the Clarin's counter in John Lewis, we can do things like comb our hair and wear lipstick... but until then, ladies, you are mere milk machines. 
I tried a pair of these contraptions today whilst attempting to feed Albie. His face was an absolute picture - like, hey mum that's not my food?! He cried and fussed (nothing new) but then he proceeded to suck so hard that the nipple guards started to disappear into his mouth. I had visions of rushing him to a&e to get his stomach pumped. Maybe then they could see just how large his stomach is and just how much milk he can actually fit in there, because I swear he's an anomaly (not that I would ever wish for such an experience!).
So I gave up on the nipple guards. I gave up on trying to breast feed him in the night because it was taking over an hour each time and I was just so tired. At least Neil could take over when I needed and get some rest.