Thursday, 9 May 2013

Two to town please.

Based on diary extract 10/4/11 (Albie 1.5 months)

Albie had two 'nightmare' feeds again this morning meaning I couldn't nap or get anything done. I seem to cope in the morning though - Mornings mean hope; they mean that the afternoon may be different. I try to calm him as best I can: I pace the floors, I wind him, I rub his tummy, I try to feed him but he tugs and pulls and scratches me with his nails. I persevere until he takes a feed for 5 minutes and then this process repeats over and over again. For hours.
Thankfully I managed to leave the house today which generally does us both good: Albie, because the outdoors seem to relax him, and me, because I feel like a normal person by talking to other humans, like bus drivers. Sometimes saying 'one to town please' makes me feel like I'm a free person again, just for a second.
I decided to take a trip into my work. This is a godsend, mainly because it takes no arranging and I don't have to apologise for turning up an hour late due to an explosive sick incident. I just rock up whenever and I generally always get a cup of tea made for me. Amazing.
I chat away for a while and then leave just at the point where I find myself turning into a martyr (or sobbing uncontrollably). They must think he's a little angel because he always sleeps the whole time I'm there. I feel like I'm going crazy.
True to form, as I reached my road his little beady eyes open like he senses home. He waits till we're just inside the door and then screams.
I tried expressing for his next feed but I couldn't get anything. Apparently you always have enough though, right midwives?! I've just prepared a bottle of formula. I feel incredibly guilty, but it's now the afternoon and I can't cope.

1 comment :

  1. It's funny looking back on this because I feel like even then it was almost part of his personality developing - he still appears to others as a little angel when we're out and about but he always knows how to work it at home! I know all kids play up for their parents but hearing every other parent telling me how 'chilled' my son is makes me feel like I'm going mad. How can a child be so perceptive of others at such a young age? I'm hoping he doesn't turn out like his mother and care too much what people think. But then, everyone thinks I'm an angel... ;)