Your kid's poo may smell of roses but it still needs clearing up

As a parent you will probably fall into one of two categories - although I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule. If there are exceptions then such parents are obviously very secure individuals who would not be reading blogs likes this and instead would be writing the next 'supernanny' manual whilst sipping a herbal tea and singing something out of Mary Poppins. If you're not due to release any guides to parenting in the next few months then you may relate to one of the following descriptions: a 'Martyrdom mum' or a 'My kid's poo smells of roses' kind of mum. These are, of course, only revealed when parents are pushed to their limits and are feeling somewhat challenged about their choices as a parent. Let me explain:

"My Kid's poo smells of roses" category:
Such mums like to rave about how much they love being a parent and how their little one can do no wrong. When cracks start to show in their parenting, or their child's behaviour, they resort to a sort of code red, undercover operation in order to conceal that both they and their children are in fact far from perfect.  They're the sort that when asked how they are finding life with a newborn they say 'yes, loving it!' (when they are secretly tempted to curl up in a ball on the pavement and sleep for 3 hours). Their child behaves far better than yours, is cuter than yours and has poo that smells of roses. They're the sort that answer questions like "How was little Tarquin's birthday party?" with "Oh it was fantastic - such a delight to have 30 energetic children in our cosy terraced house, all munching on the delicious double chocolate cake I made... Of course I didn't mind that they got it everywhere, I love cleaning. The entertainer didn't show up either so I had to play a clown for 20 minutes while the children threw custard pies all over my Karen Millen dress (fake chuckle) - I've had it a while, Im sure the stains will come out it the wash. It was hilarious, we'll definitely be doing it again next year!"

'Martyrdom mum' category:
These mums like a good moan. No child or baby could be worse than theirs and no life could be harder than the one they lead. They use phrases like 'my baby was up all night'. Really? All night, or just most of it? Their baby slept far worse than yours did, fed worse than yours did, had the worst colic known to mankind... and no one had as traumatic a birth as theirs, don't even try to compete on that one! After all, everything is backed up with hard medical science... or something they read in Grazia magazine once.

I'm definitely more of the latter, I like a good moan. I wallow in my own self pity about being up all night with my little one, until I pop round to see my pal who was up twice as long. At the end of the day we're all in this together. All I ask is that whatever category you fall into, you're honest. Sometimes you have days where you can't cope and you just need that reassurance that others are there to help...your kid's poo may smell of roses but it still needs clearing up.

Which are you?