I feel like a bloomin' dairy cow. This combination feeding malarky is all good and well when Albie behaves himself but trying to find time to express milk when he's kicking off every 5 minutes is a nightmare! It would actually be so much easier to breastfeed - if only he fed okay!!
I know what you're probably thinking, that I'm a quitter. That I should endure for the good of my baby and I would be just opting for an easy life if I quit (yes, and?!). Don't worry, I would've thought the same of me before all of this.
I mean, let me get this straight, I'm not a quitter. I took my driving test 5 times; I fell off my bike about 10 times learning to ride a bike... but this? This is draining. It's not even like there's an obvious reward at the end.
Still, I'm hoping I heal up and try and breastfeed again. I'm not quite done yet... though I have to say, it's probably more to prove to everyone else that I will do what's best for my son even if it kills me, just like every other mother, right?! Wouldn't want people thinking I'm a bad mum now would we??!
It's weird looking back on this diary entry and seeing how I change so much from one day to the other (after reading the day before!). If I ever did it again I would hope I would feel confident enough to make the right decision for me, not just because of what others thought of me. If you're going through something similar, you shouldn't feel guilty for the decisions you make as a mother because the fact that it's a concern to you means that you are a good one.
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