How are you feeling? Expectations on expectant ladies.

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Telling people you're pregnant provokes instant questioning; like how many weeks along you are, whether you'd like a girl or a boy or if you've seen the latest offers on stretch mark cream at the pharmacy. The main question you get on an almost daily basis is "how are you feeling?" which can often leave you feeling that there are only a select few correct answers to choose from. Finding out these correct answers happens by trial and error; by sympathetic faces, glowing smiles or raised eyebrows. If you're pregnant for the first time, here is a guide to the things you are expected to feel during your pregnancy:

How are you feeling?
Nauseous.
Although this is an unpleasant side effect of pregnancy to say the least, you can't go wrong with saying you feel a little sick. You will be greeted with a wealth of sympathetic faces, all offering you their perfect solutions for morning sickness and a ginger biscuit with your tea. Although you may find the advice somewhat unhelpful, take it and run because it will be more helpful than the reactions to any other response you will give.

How are you feeling?
Fine.
Saying you feel fine will provoke a number of bitter and twisted people telling you to 'get ready' for when you will feel sick (because surely you can't go through the whole pregnancy and feel no hint of sickness or discomfort, right?). Then you get the people who had horrendous morning sickness themselves telling you how incredibly lucky you are, leaving you feeling like you're the world's most unjust person and you end up apologising for feeling fine.

How are you feeling?
Tired.
Telling people that you feel tired during pregnancy is like opening a can of explosive worms. Tired?! You don't know the half of it! You will be bombarded with comments about how tiring your life will really be once you have a baby who keeps you up all night and you'll wish you had never opened your mouth.

How are you feeling?
Like baking cakes and knitting cute little baby booties
People love to see expectant ladies absorbed with motherhood; sampling pots of colour for the new nursery, spending hours of research into which buggy has the best power steering or reading books that will turn them into the closest thing to childcare perfection since Mary Poppins. So go and join a knitting club before rumours start out that you're an apathetic parent.

How are you feeling?
Daunted.
Although the majority of women feel overwhelmed at some point during their pregnancies, vocalising this seems to be a taboo subject. What, you mean you're apprehensive about something as blissful as motherhood?! Maybe the majority of people forget just what a whirlwind it is to be a parent and, despite the highs, it is perfectly understandable to feel a little apprehensive now and again. If you don't feel like dancing around the room at the thought of rocking a screaming, pooping and vomiting machine all night I won't judge you for it.

How are you feeling?
*sob*
Despite how incredibly stereotypical it is to be emotional during pregnancy, this never seems to make it publicly acceptable to burst into tears after seeing a picture of a cat kissing a dog on Facebook. It's so cute, I'm welling up just thinking about it. But the real problem happens when you do have reason to be emotional and everyone simply responds with "Aw, bless you, it's just your hormones." ...No, actually, it's because my house just burnt down.


So who knows what you're supposed to be feeling right now? No one. Nobody will have any idea what a tiny person will bring to your life, or how much you will change. Don't worry, in a few years' time you will be armed with plenty of parenting advice to bombard the next expectant mother in line. But please don't.